life.is.good.

Lately, I feel like my life goes back and forth between awesome and horrible. Okay I'm being dramatic, but here it goes. I had my first panic/stress attack which resulted in getting sick all Friday night and waking up with this horrible rash on my face. gross.and. embarrassing. At the same time, Christian told me last night that she really likes that we are friends and that she loves to talk with me about stuff.warms.my.heart.

Alex will call me when I'm up at the lab and ask me when he's going to see me next in the sweetest voice. sad.but.knowing.i'm.loved.is.so.wonderful. I'm leaving the lab and Jim is like, where are you going? like I'm not supposed to be leaving/I'm supposed to give him a reason for leaving. feeling. trapped.

Mary and I made this AWESOME plan for my experiments to get it done before I graduate. Basically, we were going to make our lives hell for one-two weeks and get some awesome data and be done with our reactors. We were so excited to show Jim our plan... typed out in Word... all the vials and equipment labeled... everything planned so well to the seconds and minutes. so.happy.and.proud.of.ourselves. We thought, Jim will be so proud! ---- This plan just won't work, we hear. You are just rushing it. You just can't. You need to think about it more. Just think about it, he says. shot.down.without.hope.

I wake up thinking this will be great day, but it ends up being pretty crappy. But, as Jenna and I talked about at our last girl's night... the bad overcomes the good, of course. Its easier to talk about the bad.. to complain... to rant... to remember. Especially when it comes to our relationships, its just weird and awkward to talk about the good and awesome with others.

The benefits of a blog: I can write about all the good and not watch the expression of, "That's great but what am I supposed to do with this information??"

some of the good

Today, Jenna brought me the most delicious manicotti and salad that she handmade. Actually, our girl's nights are so wonderful, every time! Full of home-made delicious food, wine, chocolate and a fantastic movie. Top it off with conversations that make us wonder why we never hung out during the 4 years we knew each other. makes.my.day.

In the mornings before Alex leaves for work, he pulls the covers over me gently as I pretend to be asleep. so.sweet.

Mary bought me a Dr. Pepper over the weekend and put it in the fridge at school. couldn't.have.come.at.a.better.time.

Christian's sisters text and call me every now and again asking me if they can hang out with us when I take Christian out. i.signed.up.to.get.one.friend.and.got.3.

The news of Jamila getting into Claremont and UCSB and major possibilities of full-ride scholarships, TA positions, fellowships! so.proud.of.her.

Gina (my aunt and Allison's mom) just got out of jail/rehab and is at home, healthy as she has ever been, hugging her daughter for the first time in almost a year! change.is.possible.

life.is.good.