leaving but staying

It was hard being on campus today. I sat in front of Dallas Hall near the fountain thinking of how my life has changed and much I love SMU and what SMU represented. 5 years ago I had no idea what college would be like. High school was easy so college must be no.big.deal. I didn't know a soul in Dallas and now I was throwing myself into a world of polos, cars a fashion style, and clothes with things like alligators and words like vitton luis on them.

I drove my 1991 Lexus into Dallas via Hwy 80 (I had never drove on the interstate until August 2005!) with my car full of Target bedding and country decorations.... everything red and blue for SMU and Texas. Bluebonnets, a lasso, two pairs of cowboy boots, cowhide belt. Bring it on SMU!

Over the next 4 years, I was no longer the boot wearin', southern baptist chauvinist, anti-alcohol, little quiet girl... Thank God! Who'd knew I'd attend an Obama watch party, enjoy my women's study course, stay in the city and love it!, buy a hybrid, attend coffee dates and girls nights, stay out to 2 pm dancing (yikes!)....

I have met the most wonderful people at SMU! My life has been touched and transformed by so many. I am so blessed to see how God has used everyone of you in a very specific way in my life to make me who I am today. As I sat near the fountain thinking of who I was 5 years ago, I never though I'd come to this moment. "I'll just become a math teacher and get a degree from some junior college back home if I can't make it..." I'm graduating with my MASTERS on Saturday!!!

As I looked around, memories were everywhere. McFarlin for the SNL show, the silly relationship 'ask to kiss' lecture. Fondren for the many hours in the West Stacks, finding Katrina camped out in the corner. Dallas Hall for those awful calculus courses (that I rocked!!), Celebration of Lights, and the where Alex asked me one of the most beautiful questions. Fondren Science where I spent so much time working for the physics department for the crazy, pack-rat. Umphrey Lee for so many breakfasts with Osman. I'll miss those meals!

Binkelys... oh the binkleys. The bugs, the heat, the gross dish dryer on the counter. I loved that apartment. As the students move out of their dorms, I missed dumpster diving with Katrina and stealing from the Goodwill truck... yes, yes we did and I still wear some of those shorts and jackets. :D

Embrey, oh the hours, the days, the nights in the CAD lab. I studied in there yesterday and it just wasn't the same. I needed the boys and Jenna to be there. Oh I miss the boys.

It was great to sit and think of the how wonderful life is and how glad I was for going to college.

I'll miss SMU. I'll always remember what a difference it can make when you become vulnerable and free of the should be.